I will be a mother

A very lenghty request for my dear friend Marti XD This took a while to write and was supposed to be posted during her unofficial pregnant week, but I hope you will like it :)

The more I keep thinking about it, the more incredible it all still sounds. Everything changed so fast and abruptly that I barely realized it. First I lost my jobs, suddenly and surprisingly, and started to struggle with being unemployed and having to pay the bills. I was having so many troubles finding a new job that in the end if I didn’t want to get kicked out of my apartment I had to resort to very extreme measures. I was basically left with no choice. I enrolled in that experimental program, volunteering as a test subject for that crazy experiment. I was going to become the first man to ever get pregnant.

The mere thought of having a womb transplanted, and to have my manhood removed to be replaced with a vagina, scared me beyond any belief. It all sounded so disturbing, so unsettling… so wrong. But money was running short, and they said it was going to be temporary anyway. As soon as I would have given birth I would have gone back to being a man, even though getting through a whole pregnancy and even going into labor didn’t sound like an easy nor appealing at all task.

The operation was a success. When I woke up in the hospital I could feel right away that something was different down in my crotch. That unsettling void was just too much for me to process right away, and I was far too scared to even bring my hands down there to check out what had changed. In the end I just remained idle and immobile on that hospital bed until the need to pee became too much to handle, and as I sat on the toilet and peed for the first time as a girl I had no choice but to come to terms with the fact that I had a vagina now, and I would have been stuck with that for no less than nine months from that day on.

About a week later I went to my first gynecologic visit, so that the doctors could be sure that everything went well with my operation, and once they assessed that it was a complete success they injected me with sperm from a donor, and a few days later they gave me the “good news”. I was pregnant. I had a life within me. Sure, by that point it was nothing more than a cell, but I knew that from that day on it would have kept growing inside of my belly, expanding it, and weighting on me, and eventually it would have even started to move and twitch inside of me. The mere concept was just too much for my mind to grasp. Guys are not supposed to worry about that kind of things. But from that point on I could not help but to keep obsessing over it.

To be fair, since I had a vagina I was now technically a woman already, despite the fact that I kept my outside male appearance. The only major apparent difference was that my hips had been surgically expanded so that I could have delivered the baby naturally, which was a total pain in the ass at first since my jeans would no longer fit me and I had to resort to wear baggier clothes. However with time more things began to change about my appearance. At first they were minor things, like the fact that I needed to shave less often and eventually I started to wake up with a smooth and delicate face, or the fact that my skin was getting increasingly soft and sensitive and that I was slowly losing my body hair. Then I started to get fatter on my butt, which started to feel almost like a comfortable cushion when I would sit down, and my nipple became large and much more sensitive, and after that I even started to notice my chest expanding and two small mounds of flesh started to develop. The doctors said that it was probably due to the hormones, and that I should not have worried about it since the changes were most likely going to stop soon. But they didn’t stop. As time went by they become more and more extreme. My waist got narrow, my butt bigger, and I even started developing feminine facial feature, while my chest kept getting bigger and bigger until those modest mounds of flesh became a pair of round and firm breasts. Due to my long hair, by that point it was basically impossible for me to pass as a man, and I had to resign myself to the fact that I was going to live the months leading up to the due date as a woman.

The hardest part of it all had to be having to deal with my new genitals. Even though it was quite pleasant to not have anything between my legs getting in the way as I went about my day, it was still such an alien feeling that every time I thought about it I would shiver unsettled. Plus it was so damn sensitive. Every time I showered I had to keep myself from starting to tease my pussy, as the warm water running over my now smooth body would make me feel incredibly aroused. My hormones were probably to blame for that. A few weeks into the pregnancy I started to get so incredibly emotional about everything, and I started to suffer of mood swings, and most importantly of all I felt so unbearably horny all the time! Then the nausea kicked in, and the dizziness, and the cravings, and all the unpleasant and weird feelings of my body in constant change. As I started to spend my days constantly going back and forth from the bathroom to either pee or throw up I felt like I wanted to die, and I was sure I could not have possibly have got through it all.

I was glad I had my mother helping me through all of it. She obviously had never thought one day she would have had to help her son get through a pregnancy, but after having got past the initial shock of learning what was happening to me she seemed to take it surprisingly well. She even seemed to enjoy the situation, and after a while, as my belly started to swell and my old clothes did not fit me anymore, she offered to take me shopping for some more appropriate clothes. I thought she was talking about some of those pants for pregnant women, but instead that day I came home with bag after bag full of dresses, and skirts, and other kind of girly item of clothing, until my wardrobe was completely changed. She made me try them all on, one after the other, and even insisted that I would comb my hair properly and try on some makeup. As I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my new reflection, I could not believe my eyes. I was… beautiful. It was a strange thought, but also an incredibly pleasant one. I felt so cute, and feminine, and I was almost moved by the image of that gorgeous pregnant woman staring back at me mimicking my every move. That day I realized that that was the way I was going to live from that moment on, at least until the day I would have finally have given birth. I was wiling by that point to embrace my life as a woman.

Once I started to feel truly comfortable in my new skin, my daily life seemed to get much easier, which was very good for me, since I needed all the serenity I could manage to achieve in order to deal with my continuously transforming body. My belly was getting increasingly bigger and cumbersome, and I can’t possibly describe how amazing and alien it was to feel the little creature inside of my womb kick for the first time. When I saw the image in the ultrasound machine, the round head, the tiny feet and hands, I almost started crying for the emotion. That was my baby. I had a life inside of me. It was simply incredible, and as I came to terms with that reality I actually stopped worrying about my predicament, so much so that my weekly appointments to the doctor office and to the therapist they assigned to me to monitor the way my mind was being affected by the treatment stopped bothering me completely. Suddenly my struggle didn’t seem so hard. All the worries I had up until that point felt so meaningless once compared to the fact that I now was responsible for a little creature that was growing inside of me. A creature eager to get out, and that soon I would have had to give birth to. I started to feel like I could barely contain myself to that thought.

My life was about to be shaken by yet another major event. Once again, it was all sudden, and surprising. I was resting my feet on a bench at the park, when a guy approached me. As I looked at him I remained speechless. It was my best friend. I realized that I had purposely avoided to see any person that knew me after I underwent the operation, and therefore I was quite overturned by seeing a familiar face again. Apparently he was able to recognize me despite all the changes my body had gone through, and was surprised to learn that I was the guy who volunteered for that highly publicized experiment, and amazed at how much I had transformed. I was so embarrassed, and yet he seemed sincere with his compliments about how stunning I was, and although it was quite weird to hear that, I can’t deny that I was also very flattered by it. He asked me out on a date, and I could not help but say yes. Well, it wasn’t actually supposed to be an actual date, more like a chance to talk about what we were up to and stuff like that. But as I spent basically hours trying to get to my very best, choosing the perfect outfit, and doing my makeup the best I could, and as I saw the expression on his face as he looked at me, and as we kept chatting for hours on end, laughing and having a wonderful time, it all started to feel a whole lot like a date.

We kept seeing each other after that first day. I can’t really tell why, but somehow it made me feel good to have someone else to spend the last months leading up to the due date with someone else, and he always managed to make me feel always so safe, so beautiful, and he was so kind and considerate. It didn’t take long before I started to have… feelings for him. I wanted to blame my hormones for that, after all not only I had not have sex for months by that point, but I also never quite got to deal with the fact that my changed body was likely going to affect my sexuality as well, but truth be told the more times went by, the more those feelings started to feel more and more like genuine love. And one magical night, as I brought him to my place, and he kept complimenting me for how sexy and prominent I looked in the purple dress I had chosen for that date, and my body started to burn with desire, I kissed him, and the kiss got passionate, and soon we ended up laying on the bed, toughing and groping each other, and before I could even fully realize it we were making love. It was a bit awkward, and kind of uncomfortable with my huge pregnant belly, but it was also so pleasant, so overturning, so indescribably good. And when I woke up the next morning to the sight of him caressing my pregnant belly, I instantly knew that that was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

After that night we both could not avoid to come out with our true feelings. We confessed that we were both attracted to each other, and we decided to try being a couple, no matter how weird and hard it was going to be. Well, things couldn’t possibly have gone better. I’m now nine months pregnant, and happily engaged to my sweetheart. We plan to get married after the kid arrives, and I have already legally changed my name and sex in the legal papers. I am now officially a woman, and I am going to live as such for the rest of my life. Soon I will be a mother, and then a wife, and it feels so good to think about it. I am so happy for how things turned out. And I am sure that this is not going to be my only baby. In fact, we are planning to have at least three.